The Agency

I have, for some time now been embroiled in a custody battle for my son. There is nothing in this world that means more to me than him. He was taken way on the day of his birth, and for the past year my time with him has been limited to two hours twice a month. When he is brought to me on these visits he is always a little bewildered. He doesn't seem to know what's going on. His foster parents, who by all outward appearances seem normal, must keep him awake and unfed just prior to these visits, so that he is cranky and irritable. Once he is in my arms he calms right down, it is almost as if he knows there is some unbroken bond of love between us that our time apart can't break. Myself, I am always depressed when he comes to me and when he leaves. I feel like I have let him down in a way a parent should never allow. The need to nurture him and protect him is more than I can bear, but my hands are tied, he is in the control of the agency. He was taken as  result of DCF becoming involved in his mothers life some fourteen years ago. That was when her first child was taken from her. Since then four other children were taken due to their mothers substance abuse and homelessness issues. My son makes six. This may seem like an awful predicament and the mother must seem like some kind of monster, but I have never seen someone so deliberate and caring with a child as she. This birth would have been her best chance to become what she has always wanted to be, a mom. She has faced her demons, resolved her homelessness issues and basically gotten her life on track, but due to DCF  involvement her chances of getting her son back are slim. I have never had a child taken from me like this. I have lost a son at birth and a daughter at twelve, but never before have I had to face an agency as devious and resourceful as this. They are willing to spend untold amounts of money to foster parents, lawyers, workers, psychologists, and other support staff not just for the well being of a child, but so that they can justify there position their child takings and their jobs. My son was injured while in the care of his foster parents and now has a scar over his eye he will carry for life. This in addition to the untold emotional scars this placement will most certainly have on him. The criteria the agency places on determining suitability for parenthood revolves around their service plan. This set of do's and don'ts is changed at a whim, and the bar is constantly raised once tasks are completed. This ruthless system has played untold havoc in the lives of millions of children and parents. Alcohol abuse, obesity and neglect are non existent problems that this agency fails to address. Their only concern is if a parent is using or not. I am not saying that use of illegal substances is an issue that should be ignored, what I am saying is that millions of people lead perfectly functional lives doing so. Cigarettes by far the most addictive of all drugs are openly sold and taxed. No child is taken from their parents for abusing this drug. If we as a society must set the bar for acceptable behavior lets start there.